“In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.”

-Sue Johnson

How Couples Counseling is Different from Individual Therapy

In individual therapy, the focus is on your inner world: your thoughts, feelings, and patterns of relating. In couples counseling, the focus shifts to the relationship itself. I am not here to take sides, but to create a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood. The goal is not just for each of you to grow individually, but for the relationship to become a safe and secure place where healing and connection can naturally happen.

The Importance of Safety in the Relationship

When relationships feel unsafe, partners often get caught in cycles of blame, withdrawal, or conflict. My role is to help you slow down and make sense of these patterns together. By creating safety in your relationship, you’ll begin to trust that you don’t need me to mediate. You’ll be able to navigate difficult moments on your own with more understanding, compassion, and care.

An Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Approach

EFT is rooted in Attachment Theory and is the foundation of my couples work. This approach helps partners understand how their attachment patterns and relational history shape their current relationship, while also identifying the unhelpful cycles they get stuck in and the deeper emotions and longings underneath. Instead of staying in surface-level conflict, EFT allows couples to access and share their most vulnerable feelings. As partners begin to reach for each other with more honesty and openness, new patterns of closeness and connection naturally form.

Integrating Other Therapeutic Techniques

While EFT is the core framework, I also bring in other techniques when they can support your process:

  • EMDR and Brainspotting can help partners process and release unresolved emotional pain that gets triggered in the relationship.

  • Sandtray therapy can give couples a creative and symbolic way to explore dynamics and patterns.

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed Therapy can help each partner notice and work with the parts of themselves that show up in conflict or distance.

  • Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps couples express feelings and needs clearly to build empathy and reduce conflict

Moving Toward Connection

Couples counseling isn’t just about solving problems. It’s about creating a relationship where both partners feel safe, valued, and connected. My goal is to help you build the kind of bond where you no longer need me in the room, because you’ve learned to turn toward each other with understanding and care.

Inclusive Support for Diverse Relationship Structures

I work with couples across a wide range of relationship structures, including monogamous partnerships, ENM, kink dynamics, and relationship anarchy, and I approach each relationship with openness, curiosity, and a multidimensional lens. My aim is to support partners in deepening connection, communicating more clearly, and navigating challenges with compassion and presence.

Time-Intensive Therapy

Intensive couples therapy offers a spacious and uninterrupted environment for deeper relational healing by moving beyond the constraints of traditional 50-minute sessions, where it can be difficult to build momentum and easy to lose connection just as important conversations begin. With longer sessions, partners have the time and space to slow down in ways that signal safety to the nervous system, both individually and relationally, which is an essential foundation for repair, attunement, and lasting change. This unhurried pace supports partners in staying with their emotions, softening reactivity, and engaging more fully with each other without feeling rushed, shut down, or cut off. Research in the field shows that working in longer or more concentrated blocks can accelerate progress. especially when navigating conflict, attachment injuries, communication difficulties, or the aftermath of trauma—because couples have more uninterrupted time to process, repair, and reconnect.

This extended format also makes it easier to thoughtfully integrate modalities such as attachment-based work, parts work, somatic practices, expressive arts, and experiential exercises that help partners understand themselves and each other on a deeper level. Built-in integration pauses support grounding, reflection, and nervous-system regulation, allowing insights, emotional shifts, and relational repairs to settle more fully. For couples traveling to see me, intensives reduce the need for frequent trips, consolidating the work into fewer visits while maintaining depth and continuity. Overall, intensive couples therapy offers a steady, regulated, and supportive container that helps partners move through entrenched patterns, repair ruptures, and strengthen their connection in a meaningful and sustained way. Intensive couples therapy sessions can range anywhere from 2 to 6 hours. If you’re curious about what length might be the best fit for your needs, I invite you to schedule a consultation so we can explore it together.