How Couples Counseling is Different from Individual Therapy

In individual therapy, the focus is on your inner world—your thoughts, feelings, and patterns of relating. In couples counseling, the focus shifts to the relationship itself. I am not here to take sides, but to create a safe space where both partners feel heard and understood. The goal is not just for each of you to grow individually, but for the relationship to become a safe and secure place where healing and connection can naturally happen.

The Importance of Safety in the Relationship

When relationships feel unsafe, partners often get caught in cycles of blame, withdrawal, or conflict. My role is to help you slow down and make sense of these patterns together. By creating safety in your relationship, you’ll begin to trust that you don’t need me to mediate—you’ll be able to navigate difficult moments on your own with more understanding, compassion, and care.

An Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Approach

EFT is the foundation of my couples work. This approach helps partners identify the negative cycles they get stuck in and uncover the deeper emotions and longings underneath. Instead of staying in surface-level conflict, EFT allows couples to access and share their most vulnerable feelings. As partners begin to reach for each other with more honesty and openness, new patterns of closeness and connection naturally form.

Integrating Other Therapeutic Techniques

While EFT is the core framework, I also bring in other techniques when they can support your process:

  • Brainspotting can help partners process and release unresolved emotional pain that gets triggered in the relationship.

  • Sandtray therapy can give couples a creative and symbolic way to explore dynamics and patterns.

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS) can help each partner notice and work with the parts of themselves that show up in conflict or distance.

Moving Toward Connection

Couples counseling isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about creating a relationship where both partners feel safe, valued, and connected. My goal is to help you build the kind of bond where you no longer need me in the room, because you’ve learned to turn toward each other with understanding and care.